And If She Had Emotions
by merily
Summary: And if she had emotions, she calculated a 98% chance that she would have smacked him over the back of the head and called him an idiot.


The Servant of the Goddess had all the time in the world to calculate what the Chosen Hero would be like. It was needed to estimate just how she would need to behave in order for the Goddess' mission to be completed in a timely manor. Fi calculated a 96% probability the chosen Hero would be older, a leader of some sort, well spoken, responsible, large build, and stoic- Literature and scripts of before her time had most heroes behave as such.

What Fi had foolishly not taken into account was that there was a 4% chance that she could be wrong, and was thoroughly unprepared for Link- who was everything not on her list. If she had emotions, she calculated a 98% chance that she would have felt 'disappointment', something she knew was loosely defined with not being pleased when things didn't turn out as hoped.

He was _young_ , he never told her his age, but upon analysis he could not have been more than 18. He wasn't a _leader_ , he prefered to follow- let Fi lead him if that mean Zelda and the others would be safe. _Irresponsible_. Fi could tell from the moment he broke the chandelier after many warnings from herself and signs that he didn't really have common sense. He was _small_ \- 'Master Shortpants' wasn't really far off, even if the Robot provided the both of them with an uncomfortable annoyance. Stoic wasn't even close- he openly wore his emotions on his sleeve. He cared about everyone. He had to help everyone. If Fi had emotions, she would have calculated a 93% chance that would have felt 'annoyed' with him at times.

In fact, she calculated that if she had emotions she would have felt annoyed with him a solid 72% of their time together. Link made many... Errors.

 _"Fi, how is your name spelled?"_

 _"F-I, Master Link. Is there any objective for this knowledge?"_

 _"So you name is Fee?"_

 _"... No. Fi is the name I was given."_

At that point, Fi calculated that 93% chance she would have been annoyed went up to a 98%

 _"The woman in black?"_

 _"The probability of your assessment being correct is... 10%.Rounded up."  
_

If Fi had emotions, she calculated a 98.6 probability that she would have smacked him.

Fi calculated an 84% probability that Link let his emotions rule him. He got hurt when things failed- he got upset. He screamed and he yelled and he became depressed. If she had emotions, she calculated a 91% chance she wouldn't have been able to help him because she would have let her emotions overrule her as well.

And then, he was _late._

 _"Fi."_

 _"Yes, Master Link?"_

 _"Was I late?"_

 _"..."_

 _If she had emotions, Fi calculated a 67% probability that she would have lied to him when he asked._

 _"I calculate that did not arrive in a timely manor, Master Link."_

 _"Oh."_

 _A pause._

 _"However, upon further analysis I have discovered that the only way to have arrived in a timely manor was to cut down on your rest, your trips to retrieve and repair shields, and to purchase potions. I can approximate a 78% increase in the risk of your ultimate demise, and therefore failing the mission you have been given by the Goddess."_

 _"Fi?"_

 _"Yes Master Link?"_

 _"Thank you."_

If she had emotions, she calculated a 90% probability that she would have understood why he thanked her.

If she had emotions, she calculated a 94% probability that she would have been terrified every time they fell from the sky

If she had emotions, she calculated that would understand why Link was saddened when he couldn't help the ghost in the restroom and Cawlin.

If she had emotions, she would understand why it took Link so long to tell Peatrice that he was rejecting her.

If she had emotions, she predicted she would have cursed the Goddess for sealing her fate to sleep within' the Master Sword for the rest of eternity. She predicted that she would have shed tears upon having to leave Link, one who she calculated a 99% chance that she would have called him a friend- but only if she had emotions.

As Link turned to leave, Fi calculated a 92% probability that it was a _feeling_ that she could finally register in her memory files. Leaving him, she informed him that her database recognized something different- a feeling of joy, commonly called happiness. She calculated a 98% probability that he was pleased by the news. Fi didn't completely understand it, but it most closely resembled the bright smile that Her Grace- no, that Zelda wore. But she recognized another feeling as well. Something that most closely resembled how Link, Groose, and Zelda looked when leaving Impa... _Sorrow._

 _"I wish to relay to you words that I recorded many times over the course of our journey. Many have said them to you thus far, but I now wish to say them for myself... **Thank you** , Master Link. May we meet again in another life."_

And if she had emotions, Fi calculated a 99% that she wouldn't have been able to express _hope_ for something she knew could never happen.

* * *

 **A repost from my old account. Not stolen, promise!**


End file.
